Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for the outpouring of love and support for me through, emails, texts, letters and phone calls. Gifts that have arrived with special significance and words of strength, love and hope for me, all this lifts me up and let’s me know that I will get through this.

Thank you to my amazing sister Becca for posting for me on this site and for all the emails you have sent out on my behalf to keep everyone up to date. I have to tell you all that nobody on this planet has a sister as wonderful as mine. Your ability Bec to take on a million tasks with grace and follow through is mind blowing. You schedule and get me to my appointments, take copious notes, help with my kids, organize my entire life, hold my hand when I’m scared, drop everything when I need you, love me through my darkest moments and oh yeah, you also have your own family to care for. There are no words for the gratitude I feel for all the ways you are holding and loving me.

This entire diagnosis has shocked me to the core. I am baffled still that I, 44 and healthy could possibly have cancer. Thus the journey begins to kick it to the curb and recover. I am a person that feels everything happens for a reason, so whatever the reason for this in my life I will learn, heal and move through this. All of you are integral to my success.

I am not sure yet what kind of posts will come out of me on this. I hope mainly to keep you all informed of my progress.

I had my second treatment on Friday with friends Dana and Paige by my side. Amazing that I get to have these girl friends I have known for most of my life fly in and be with me and my family. They’ve come to appointments with me, organized my kitchen and refrigerator, walked with me, raked leaves, set up patio furniture, made smoothies for me and made me drink them, picked out a wig with me, loved on my children, made Charles happy because he knows I’m happy with them here, done errands, asked questions, cried tears that I am going through this but held me tight saying I will get through it. I have always cherished these deep friendships I have been lucky enough to count on my whole life – Jenny, Dana and Paige – thank you for dropping everything right before Christmas to be with me.

Another huge thank you to my sister-in-law Clia who got me through my first visit at MD Anderson which was no small feat. We saw an angel or two, hugged each person that we came into contact with whether they wanted a hug or not and took in the overwhelming scene as best we could with humor. Clia has also managed to arrange from afar a house cleaner, a private yoga instructor (more on this angel later) and a myriad of other people to help make our lives easier during all of this. Nobody could have managed me at MD Anderson other than Clia that week – Cli, thank you for ALL of it.

The treatments themselves have both gone well so far. The severe back pain has been another story, this I was not counting on. This past week was pretty awful trying to get in under control and there have been some dark days for sure. Mom came and rubbed my feet the other day and fed me 5 bites of lentil soup which was all I could manage between the pain and the loss of appetite. It was not a good scene and I’m sure not easy for you Mom either! Last Thursday Becca and I had a meeting with a nutritionist and I was in so much pain that I spend the entire hour crawling around on the floor moaning and crying. This poor woman took it all in perfect stride. I have quickly come to learn that there are going to be a lot of new normals.

Today was a great day – I went to the mall for 2 hours and shopped for my family, buzzing around feeling excited about Christmas. I had a ton of energy (this could be from the steroid I am on) but whatever, I’ll take it! The pain was under control today and my sweet husband who is of course just as shell shocked as I am got to have a much needed restorative massage by our favorite family masseuse Negeen Mosely, http://www.negeenmosley.com/
(of course Becca organized this and did get one herself too)

I have so much to be grateful for and I will find a way to make this cancer journey part of that. Charles and I live on the best street in Austin – we have the most amazing, loving neighbors who have awed us with their generosity and caring. We have food coming from friends and the kids have had more play dates in the past 3 weeks than they’ve had over the past year thanks to all their sweet friends and parents. Thank you for giving them normalcy and happiness.

I have a PET scan tomorrow so we can see the whole body beautiful. Not a big fan of scans so much, they make me nervous. However, the more information we have the better to tackle this beast so onward I go.

Time for bed.

xoxo
Hilary