We are in the car on our way to Houston, with some groovy 70’s tunes. I have consumed my pre-op medications and haven’t eaten since 1:00. I’m ready!!
All of your calls, emails, texts, personal visits and cards have left me once again in such awe. I am feeling all the love, truly. There simply aren’t words to describe the joy in my heart. My cup runneth over, completely.
I finally went to see my dad who looked really great. He had good color and he smiled when he saw me. I sat with him and held his hand and just listened to his breath. I studied his hands, changed now with all the weight he’s lost, but the tips and nails are still the way I remember them. I love his hands. They were nicely squared at the palms and strong but not pudgy. Long strong fingers. I’ve always looked at my hands and thought them to be the female version of my dad’s hands. Charles told me a long time ago he thought my hands were sexy. I liked that he saw them that way. So I got to hold my dad’s hands, be still with him, give him kisses and he in return squeezed my hand to convey to me in his non verbal way that he knew me. That’s all. That’s what happened today with my dad and it’s what I needed before walking towards this thing I have to do alone. A thing I am grateful he does not understand.
So, surgery is happening tomorrow. Here are the details:
St. Luke’s Hospital in Houston
Surgery begins at 11:00am, I will get there at 9:00am with Charles.
It is supposed to take 2.5 to 3 hours. I will be in the hospital for 5-6 days.
I AM nervous. I AM ready. Let’s get it out. I need to get home to my babies. Please send Charles extra strength as he sits in the waiting room. He will update this blog as soon as he gets news.
I feel like we’re all in a relay race and we’ve been passing the baton around and it’s my turn to run. I’ve got to do my personal best so the entire team can benefit. You’re all with me as I run, embedded in my mind, my heart. All of you make me, me. I am so grateful for all the ways you’re with me. I can’t wait to read what you all have “cut out” for me. I love everything about this cheer and am beyond being able to express how touched I am at all of you losing something along with me. Likely, we’ll all gain something too.
Here’s Carolyn and me with cheer. Thank you dear friend for coming up with this brilliant idea. It brims with goodness.
Thank you Becca for keeping cheer going. It is such a labor of love.
We have just arrived in a Houston! Woot woot.
Game on.
Nite Nite!
Xoxo
Hilary