Good Morning!
It’s 4:00am and unfortunately I woke up and can’t fall back asleep. I just went outside to see if I could retrieve our cat Benjie otherwise known as Tootie, as its 29 degrees outside and I thought he may be cold out there. He did not appear so he must have found a cozy, safe spot, he is an animal after all and they are good at those sorts of things.
We humans sometimes aren’t always as good at finding our cozy spots, finding places we feel safe and protected. We tend to put self-care on the back burner, especially those of us raising a family or pursuing a busy career. This past weekend I was reminded of the importance of self-care. Self-care to me is really about feeding your inner desires for comfort, rejuvenation, curiosity and calm. Reading, writing, exchanging information with friends on a deep meaningful level, baths, meditation, long walks, yoga, any form of exercise, massage, stillness – all of these things are self-care tools for me.
This past weekend my two dear friends Molly Carroll and Charlotte Hardwick came to see me. We met in San Francisco 10 years ago and they are both Godparents to my Charlotte. Talk about positive energy! These girls have it in spades. I am still radiating in the after-glow. House smudging, crystals, potions, massage, walks, 4 hour coffees at Texas French Bread, Runes readings (go look it up if you aren’t familiar), many tears, hugs, and so much laughter. The visit felt like being pulled into an embrace that made all your worries fade away. I got such strength from these two not to mention love. They were my family in San Francisco when none of us had family close by, they are my family still.
The weekend was a reminder to me that we have the power to do so much for ourselves if we make it priority. You can go towards darkness or seek out the light. Seek being an important notion to me since those who seek are apt to grow in ways that non-seekers will not. It’s the journey we’re on that yields the most useful information and growth. Being curious, being open.
Thank you Mols and Char Char for coming out here for 4 days and leaving your families, work and lives to be with my family. Once again I am awed and humbled really at the love surrounding us both near and far. Charles and I are so very grateful to all of you for holding us in the light and loving us through this. There is no greater gift.
On a brass tacks note, the biopsy did happen a week ago Monday. It went fine. The tissue has gone to Boston for genetic testing and those results take a few weeks. I am “off” chemo this week and head to MD Anderson next week on the 12-13 for scans and a meeting with Dr. Javle. Knowledge is power has been my mantra. Assuming we are on the right track with my treatment, I will start round 4 of chemo on February 14.
I am tolerating the chemo very well so far. I have gained 3 pounds – yippie! I am extremely excited to kick the shit out of this disease and move on to other things in my life. As I have said to my kids and to myself, this is a marathon not a sprint and I must be patient.
I am including some photos from the weekend with Molly and Charlotte as well as a video of me that makes me laugh each time I watch it.
xoxo Hills
http://vimeo.com/86033805 -link to funny video of me- not sure if this will work!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?