Hi Everyone,
It’s been a while, probably because I have been busy feeling somewhat normal while I have the 2 week break from chemo. This is the first time that I have not wound up in the hospital for some unforeseen issue during this 2 week hiatus so it seemed extra long and devoid of stupid cancer drama. YES!
For those of you keeping track I have completed two full rounds of chemo and for those of you interested, this is how my schedule rolls: Day 1 which is always a Friday – I get treated to a tasty helping of Gemzar and Cisplatin, Cisplatin being a nice heavy metal type drug. This takes me about 4 hours not including the labs that are drawn and meeting with Dr Fain or his PA Katherine Lord. Today I walked in at 10:15 and left at 3:45.Next day in the cycle is Day 8, also a Friday and I only get Gemzar on this day so infusion time is closer to 2 hours – SNAP! So fast. The cycle technically continues until day 21 but I have no more infusions during that time. Then on day 22 a new cycle starts and becomes day 1 again. (My oncologist office opened 2 hours late today due to our almost impossible to see snow dusting and ice in a few places storm! I feel lucky that our office was open as all schools were closed, government offices closed and most every other kind of business was closed)
Today I started day 1 of my third cycle. I will complete this cycle then head to MD Anderson to meet with Dr Javle and get a CT scan to see what an outstanding job these drugs are doing to these confused cancer cells. This visit will take place on February 12 and 13. Charles, my sweet man will be coming with me and the kiddies will stay home with friends or family for one night. After scans we’ll see if we stay this course or need to make changes. In addition I will be having another liver biopsy (oh Joy!) this Monday. The first one I had was to determine if the lesions in the liver were cancerous (yes unfortunately) and we also sent the tissue to Boston to do some genetic testing. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough tissue left from the cancer testing to do more testing at the lab in Boston so we must get them a fresh tissue sample. The reason for this testing is mainly in the name of more information. There isn’t necessarily any drug therapy at this point that could target my cancer should I have a genetic mutation that lead to my having this cancer however science is always moving along and the more you know, the more you know so to us it seems like a worthwhile endeavor. The only reason my biopsy won’t take place Monday is if I find out the doctor performing the biopsy is someone out of my comfort zone, my oncologist scheduled the biopsy with a group that we have used before but for some reason they have not been able to tell me which Doc is doing the procedure. This girl doesn’t like surprises, especially when someone is sticking a needle into my liver, thank you very much. So I reserve the right to cancel the whole shebang if it doesn’t sit well with me and reschedule with one of the two doctors I know and trust in the group.
I continue to be lifted and awed by all of you that love me, pray for me think of me and my family, send texts, emails, letters, flowers, notes and tokens of affection. Two very good childhood friends came to see me this past weekend, Laina from Philly and Johanna from the Denver area. They stayed with my earth angel and neighbor Kathryn Anderson and her sweet husband Larry. Let me just digress for a minute to tell you something about how the Universe takes care of us and how God places people in your lives for a reason. We moved onto Preston Avenue 3.5 years ago. We were walking down our street with our kids on their bikes shortly after we moved in on a summer night. Kathryn was on her front lawn and as we approached she introduced herself. Charles then introduced himself and after he said his name Kathryn’s jaw dropped and she told Charles she was his third grade teacher in Metarie, Louisiana. Charles remembered her and ever since then Kathryn has weaved her magic into our lives in the form of great babysitter referrals, having Charlotte attend her amazing Spanish themed girls camp (which is one of Charlotte’s favorite weeks of the summer), graciously hosting out of town guests for us (everyone falls in love with her), running errands, small love gifts on our doorstep, and so many more little things she does for us that lift us, help us and let us know she is with us. Thank you Kathryn for lighting up our lives with just being you!
So I had a wonderful visit with old friends Laina and Johanna, thank you girls for coming out to hang and love on me, it was such a treat! Three days later, Dana came back for her second visit in a month due to a phone call she got from me on a bluesy Sunday less than 2 weeks ago. She knew I was down and decided she’d hop a plane the next day and come out for 3 days. Amazing. I have always known how rich I am in the friendships I have in my life. However, it still brings me to tears and fills me with the most amazing gratitude for the love that surrounds me. There is no better feeling on the planet than true love and I am blessed to have this love weaved around my heart and my soul. It is my very best medicine.
What else? Weight continues to be a struggle due to lack of appetite. A 20 pound weight loss (my son thinks I look better this way, really? My sister would not concur…) is not my idea of feeling strong so I am working hard to pack on the pounds despite never feeling hungry and a shrunken tummy. Good news is that I did gain a pound this week and anyone who has ever had to gain weight knows this is a sloooow process and we must celebrate the small gains, which I am! I am having no more back pain which is fantastic, off all pain meds which we see as a good sign that chemo is working.
I do yoga with Umpa once a week one on one in her oasis of a studio behind her house five minutes from mine. She is spiritual, wise and lovely and we do long restorative poses which are good for my healing. I meditate each day – ok sometimes it’s every other but I am really trying to make this a practice each day. Currently I am doing this awesome guided mediation on healing by Oprah and Deepak Chopra – his voice is so wonderful to listen to and this man is wise and inspiring. I love it! Thank you to my cousin Vince DiFrancesco for sending it to me xoxo. I do acupuncture once a week at Sage Acupuncture with the awesome Michelle. I adore her in every way and look forward to these sessions. Shahnaz comes to my house twice a week to cook for me, dole out wisdom, lift my spirit and remind me that food is medicine. She is brilliant and she is cooking for my health, to be strong for chemo, to support my taxed organs and for the love of taking care of oneself through nutrition. She is something very special. Shahnaz conducted our second meeting perched on the end of my bed, writhing in pain from constipation (that was the day I wound up in the hospital) trying to distinguish my food likes and dislikes. Irma also comes to my house 2 times a week and enters my door with a smile that would knock your socks off. She cleans, organizes and fills my home with joy and promise. When I interviewed her it went like this: she on one side of my dining room table, me on the other. Five minutes into it I was feeling very unwell and I conducted the rest of the interview with my torso draped on the table looking up at her to not seem rude, ha! Irma was completely unfazed. I swear I could see her soul that day and I knew it was kind. When you are dealing with something big you need to be careful with your energy. You need to surround yourself with people that don’t drain you. I knew Irma was not a drainer but instead she fills me and my gut was right. She is wonderful.
Well, this post seems to be taking more than a few days to get off the ground. It is Sunday night and this has not been a good day. My spirits are low and all seems unattainable today. This seems to be the way it goes for me on day 2 or 3 after treatment. I feel tired and depressed and then the bad thoughts start to gather. I feel somewhat drugged (ok, that would be because I am drugged) and out of it and not like myself at all. These days are the hardest as they rob me of my courage. Alas, I must remember that these feelings will not last. I look forward to a brighter day tomorrow, even if it must include a liver biopsy and the day in the hospital. I will see the positives here, I can catch up on some sleep and perhaps do a little reading.
Nite Nite Everyone,
xoxo
