Hi Everyone,
Just a quick update on our visit to MD Anderson. We just got back to Austin and thank you Becca & Steven, Clayton and Bailey for helping out with our kids. It’s so reassuring to know your children are in good hands when you can’t be there.
I had my scan yesterday and met today with Dr. Javle for the results. I was a wreck and really scared he would say it’s grown more despite the fact that I have had less pain and have been feeling good. Scan days are just plain scary. To our relief, the news was good. They have ruled out pancreatic cancer 100% and now think it’s bile duct although there is not a way to know if this is for sure it’s origin, at least not at this point. There has been 10-20% shrinkage of most of the cancer that resides in the liver and lymph nodes. Dr. Javle wants to keep the same course of treatment for now and basically treat it as a chronic condition. I of course want more – I want to be able to shrink it enough to have surgery on the liver and wherever else we can get to in order to remove the cancer. For now, I will have to be patient.
So the good news is that it’s shrinking. I was able to revel in this fact for a few hours and of course now that I am home and back to reality it is harder to hold on to that joy for some reason. I habitually say – yes that’s great but…and then go off into something counter-productive. Part of my journey is to stay in the moment, enjoy the highs and not stomp on them with the what ifs. So yippie! We are headed in the right direction – and that truly is a blessing.
Tomorrow I will start round 4 of chemo. I wish all of you a Happy Valentine’s Day! Hug all your peeps, tell them you love them and don’t wait for a holiday to share with the people you care about how much they mean to you.
A friend of mine sent me a blog post of a cancer survivor she knows and in this post I read a mantra that really resonated with me and I say it often.
Thank you God for this day, this hour, this now. All is well, all is well and all will be well.
It’s a reminder for me to live in the now and to know I will be ok. Seemingly simple isn’t it? I know for me it takes a lot of work.
Thank you to all of you near and far for your prayers, your love, your total support of me and my family. I know that this is helping me heal. Please keep it coming, and thank you for being on my team. We rock!
xoxo Hilary
Thank you Carrie McDowell for the sweet armor!